Is there a worse holiday season phenomenon than the anxiety caused by trying to select the perfect Christmas cookie from the break room free-for-all sampler?

This pastry wheel of fortune invariably leads to disappointment. There’s no lower feeling than finding out that what looked like a chocolate chip was really just a raisin or what appeared to the naked eye as powdered sugar was, in fact, finely shredded coconut.

After that initial bite, you make the half-hearted yummy-face that everyone in the immediate area instantly recognizes as a charade. You now have to start formulating your bad-cookie exit strategy. Are there napkins nearby? Is there a discreet garbage receptacle on the way back to my desk? How can I get back to the tray and pinch another cookie without my true gluttonous nature being exposed?

My suggestion, you can never go wrong with a sugar cookie. Especially those in the shape of a Christmas tree covered in red and green sprinkles. Your risk-reward ratio is low but you’re virtually guaranteed to go back to your office with something remotely edible.


Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for since 2001.

Your comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *