Forgo the Bloomin’ Onion My Son

This time of year, I’m usually reminded by the moaning and groaning of my friends of the Catholic persuasion that the self-sacrifice season of Lent is upon us. My friends usually follow up their grumblings with a casual, “So what are you giving up?” I generally respond by saying, “Being raised as a protestant, our pagan ways do not require us to give up anything.”

Or at the very least, no one ever got around to telling me I had to.

My catholicized friends are also generally shocked that I can hunker down at the Outback on Friday evenings and rustle me up a Victoria’s Filet wrapped in bacon if I so choose. The protestant upbringing is much like the Outback itself in that it similarly has a ‘No Rules, Just Right.’ policy when it comes to Lent.

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Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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