The longtime Governor of our fair state of Connecticut resigned his post earlier this week. Caught up in a scandal revolving around his inability to refuse fancy baubbles in exchange for preferrential treatment for government contracts, John “Teflon” Rowland finally saw the writing on the wall. The people of Connecticut had spoken.

“Yeah John, the last 9 years have been great and all, but this just isn’t working out anymore. To be perfectly honest, we’ve spending a lot of our time keeping an eye on 50 cent over in Farmington and we can’t be constantly checking in with you to see if you’re…well…screwing us over.”

What irks me most is that Rowland didn’t bother to resign back in January when his approval rating hit rock-bottom and tried to dig a basement. No, Johnny-boy waited to call it quits until it was an absolute certainty he would be impeached. This delay incurred a 2 million dollar cost to the tax-payers of Connecticut in the form of an impeachment panel. The impeachment panel was convened to gather evidence to ultimately make a reccomendation to the legislators of Connecticut on whether or not to call for Rowland’s impeachment.

Let me repeat that. 2 million dollars for a stinking panel.

In these times of budgets tighter than a Paris Hilton tube top, we spent 2 million dollars on a committee that would ultimately just suggest (not actually do) something. In the spirit of ‘suggestion’ here is my suggestion on how that 2 million dollars could have been better spent.

Implement Signs Along I-84 That Tell Me If I’m Getting Any Closer to Anywhere – Maybe I was spoiled in Pennsylvania. It seemed like every 15 miles there were smaller signs that read “Harrisburg 45” and then “Harrisburg 30.” Even if you weren’t that excited to go to Harrisburg, (most people aren’t) these signs had a profound pyschological impact on you as a driver. It was a constant affirmation that you were accomplishing something, and if you were lost, a comforting reassurance that you were on the right track. Connecticut says, “To hell with that, you’re on your own gas-guzzler!”

On interstate 84 eastbound after you cross the NY border, there is approximately one (1) sign informing me I am 65 miles from Hartford. That’s it till I hit an actual Hartford exit. More signs, please.

Actually, an additional 2 mill will probably be spent removing John Rowland’s name from all of the ‘Welcome to Connecticut’ signs. Why do states have Governor’s names on welcome signs anyway? You know you’re going to have to replace them eventually and has anyone ever reached a state border and decided not to enter because of who the governor was?

“Ooooh, Ed Rendell. We had a messy breakup in college. Maybe I’ll drive through New Jersey instead.”

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Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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