Apparently, Richard Simmons Was Unavailable

Dialouge from “Tax Reform Commando”

Matrix: Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill your wimpy, socialist, aid program last?
Sully: That’s right, Matrix. You did.
Matrix: I lied. (Succinctly drops Sully off a cliff)

Critics of California’s Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, are labeling him sexist and homophobic after he referred to Democrats who oppose his tough state budget as “girlie men.”

I, for one, say these assertions about Ahnud are blatantly false.

How can the alleged, long-time womanizer spout anti-female sentiment after producing a vital resource for the health and well-being of women everywhere?

“Thaz right, ladies. Work zee buttocks. Zee firm, firm, buttocks.”


Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for since 2001.

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