Joe Simpson, proud papa and manager for both Ashlee and Jessica Simpson, recently described moody teen pop-rocker Ashlee’s nascent acting career thusly:

“She’s going to be a huge movie star. She’s like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz, with probably more depth. When we’re done, she’ll play it all.”

Yeah, I see her playing the Meryl Streep role in Sophie’s Choice, don’t you?

I suppose shooting for deeper roles than those chosen by Cameron Diaz (whose career pinnacle so far is a toss-up between memorably shaking her scantily-clad tookus in a remake of a cheesy 1970’s television show or mistaking a bodily fluid for hair gel) isn’t quite aiming for the stratosphere, but to be honest, who’s going to bet against her? She’s already spent the better part of the last year successfully playing the part of an actual singer.

And she would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling hippie kids and their curiously hungry dog.

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Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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