Five Things I Am Secretly Ashamed Of Concerning
My Current Relationship With Food

5. I prefer Kraft Macaroni & Cheese from a box as opposed to the homemade variety.

4. I have reached the stage in my life where non-diet soda is “too filling.”

3. I recently ate a 13 ounce “Weekender” size bag of Middleswarth BBQ potato chips in one sitting.

2. I view the “five second rule” as entirely too prohibitive.

1. Sometimes, there just isn’t any room left for JELL-O.


Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for since 2001.

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