Kudos to Anurag Kashyap, who took home the top prize in the 78th Annual National Scripps Spelling Bee.

After watching some of ESPN’s riveting live coverage of the Bee yesterday, two things occurred to me. First, there are about 250 children ages 8-14 who, as of right now, are officially way smarter than I’ll ever be. Though as an aside, I would encourage most of them to participate in some kind of outdoor organized sport in the near future. Most contestants had the pasty complexion of someone whose only physical activity in the last few years has come from toting around a 75-pound Miriam Webster Unabridged.

Secondly, am I the only one who wanted the Head Pronouncer to bust off with the following one-liner after being asked the etymology of the same word for the fourth time in a row:

“You can memorize 85,000 words, but you can’t remember I said ‘Greek Word Forms’ 3 f***ing seconds ago?”

And just for old times sake, the greatest moment in Spelling Bee History:

Euonym
ranzino

Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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