So Long and Thanks For All the Fish

As if rampant homelessness, rising fuel costs, and the financial hit the makers of the Girls Gone Wild videos are likely incuring weren’t enough, now Katrina has unleashed deadly dart-wielding porpoises on an unsuspecting populace.

According to “expert sources”, 36 U.S. Government-trained dolphins have gone missing in the Gulf of Mexico since after the storm. These normally genial mammals could possibly be carrying ‘toxic dart’ guns which they are trained to use on divers and surfers suspected of being engaging in terrorist activities.

No word yet on wether the Navy was able to properly secure their stock-pile of sharks with freakin’ laser beams mounted on their heads.

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Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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