My Dog Ate My State of the Union Address

During the investigation into the CIA leak case against Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff, Lewis “Scooter” Libby, federal prosecutors have revealed that some of the President and Vice President’s email from the very same time period they happen to be investigating may have gone up and missing. In a letter to Libby’s defense team, special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald reassured Scooter’s lawyers that everything is on the up and up.

“We are aware of no evidence pertinent to the charges against defendant Libby which has been destroyed,”

Well then, that settles it. If you’re telling me the emails that are missing (meaning you have not seen, and therefore could not possibly be aware of the contents there within) don’t have anything of import in them, then fair enough! If that explanation is good enough for the lawyers of a man who shares a nickname with a Muppet, then okely-dokely, it’s good enough for me!

Rest assured, no one’s accusing anyone of anything suspicious here. I’m sure the National Archivists who are in charge of documenting the governance of our nation are just as prone to occupational mishaps as say…. Randy, my local system administrator who eats a curious amount of Lucky Charms. But considering this administration’s tendency to misplace certain key documents, perhaps it might be time for the White House to look into a more secure storage solution.

My advice: a trusty Trapper Keeper never lets you down, and as a bonus, it has a pocket where you can store your calculator for all those pesky defecit spending calculations!

ranzino

Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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