Today I’m going to do something just for you. I’m going to do something that’s going to improve the quality of your life immediately.
If you live in Pennsylvania, get in your car, drive down to your local supermarket and buy yourself a “Weekender” bag of Middleswarth Bar-B-Q potato chips.
Do not be swayed by the marketing prowess of the Frito-Lay cartel’s buy one get one swap-o-ramas or any such nonsense. They’re just pretenders to the throne trying to distract you from the task at hand. You shall not be denied the sweet tangy goodness that is the world’s most perfectly fried tuber slice.
I would personally recommend a handful of Middleswarth as the perfect complement to a ham salad sandwich on honey wheat with lettuce.
So go ahead, spend three dollars and ninety-nine cents, and change your life for the better right now.