SpongeBob, Behind the Green Door… at the Krusty Krab

The following is the best dinner-time discussion my son and I have had in weeks.

Me: So what did you do at Gramma’s house yesterday?

Son: Pop Pop and I watched SpongeBob SquirtPants.

Me: (Choking back some grilled tilapia) I think you mean SpongeBob SquarePants.

Son: (In complete righteous indignation mode) NO! The song says SpongeBob SQUIRTPANTS!

Me: I think I’m pretty sure I saw that particular title in the restricted section of the local video store. Nickelodeon’s probably not adding it to their lineup until their demo really really shifts.

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Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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