SpongeBob, Behind the Green Door… at the Krusty Krab

The following is the best dinner-time discussion my son and I have had in weeks.

Me: So what did you do at Gramma’s house yesterday?

Son: Pop Pop and I watched SpongeBob SquirtPants.

Me: (Choking back some grilled tilapia) I think you mean SpongeBob SquarePants.

Son: (In complete righteous indignation mode) NO! The song says SpongeBob SQUIRTPANTS!

Me: I think I’m pretty sure I saw that particular title in the restricted section of the local video store. Nickelodeon’s probably not adding it to their lineup until their demo really really shifts.


Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.

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