Sports

January 31, 2006
What about Brett Fav… ruh? premium
In what is becoming an annual winter rite of passage (not much unlike the appearance of that rascally Pennsylvania groundhog) Brett Favre is once again contemplating his retirement from the NFL. The much beloved, southern-fried, good ol’ boy QB for the Green Bay Packers is once again holding the adoring national media and cheese-head nation […]
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January 30, 2006
At Least They Left the Propane Tank Behind premium
Is there a less surprising sports news headline than the following: “John Daly’s Trailer Stolen” Perhaps this: “Daly and Wife Split Over Marlboro Points Dispute”
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March 20, 2005
Its Tourney Time premium
After a weekend’s worth of NCAA basketball as served up by the fine folks over at CBS (“America’s Most Watched Network” – a moniker I thought CBS would ditch after they started attracting more than just a record number of viewers in the “Murder She Wrote” demographic) I’ve come to the conclusion about two things: […]
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October 28, 2004
Cursed premium
I hope to God that the Red Sox won last night to effectively sweep the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series. Not because I’m particularly a part of Red Sox nation. More so the whole of New England will shut the hell up about it already. I get it, you’re long-suffering… blah blah blah.  […]
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October 20, 2004
I’m a Big Tim McCarver Fan premium
Tim McCarver just said if the Red Sox win the seventh and deciding game of the American League Championship Series (as I write this it’s the top of the 9th) he wouldn’t put the comeback “in the miraculous category.” Holy crap Tim, what the F do you want? Would “miraculous” only come in to play […]
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September 28, 2004
Bonds 700th Homer Scrap premium
When the main thrust of the lawsuit you are filing prominently features the phrase… “plaintiff established possession, dominion and control over the ball by sitting on it and securing it with his right leg” …you have to take a good, hard look at yourself. Hopefully, you will discover the exact point in time you became […]
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September 20, 2004
Charlie Hustle premium
I’m getting pretty excited about ESPN’s upcoming tv biopic of Pete Rose. It’s not that I’m really all that interested in the rise and fall of Major League Baseball’s all-time career hits leader. It’s that the friendly folks over at ESPN Original Entertainment always go that extra mile to make sure the casting of their […]
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September 15, 2004
Now Taking Applications for The Wiggles On Ice Tour premium
With the NHL headed towards an extended lockout, I have one primary concern. Exactly how will Eric Lindros go about suffering his yearly concussion? The Lindros concussion has become an annual event much like the turning of the leaves or the first flake of snow. You don’t know exactly when any of these events are […]
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September 10, 2004
No…I’m Not Ready Mr. Williams Jr. premium
Being a full-fledged American football fan, I can say unequivocally nothing gets me more fired up for the legalized bloodsport that is the NFL more than the catchy pop stylings of Elton John, Jessica Simpson, and Mary J. Blige. You can’t tell me the Backstreet Boys weren’t available to add the perfect finishing touch. I […]
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August 14, 2004
My Boring Fat Greek Olympics premium
Wow. Was it just me, or were the opening ceremonies of the Olympics incredibly boring? It’s saying a lot when you pine for the aw-shucks showmanship of the Mormons. Even in spite of their infliction of Nia Vardalos upon us, I thought the Greeks knew a little something more about entertaining than they showed us […]
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