Technology

November 15, 2004
A Conversational Email Filter for Microsoft Outlook premium
Hey Microsoft Outlook, what’s going on… how are the kids? What is little Outlook Express up to these days? Listen, you don’t like me and I don’t like you, but since we’re stuck with one another here at work, I thought it best we talk this out so we can work through our issues in […]
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September 14, 2004
A Note to Japan premium
I’d like to take a moment to address the nation of Japan. Uh, hi. Let me preface this by saying we, as Americans, love your work. The technological innovations you’ve provided over the years have kept scores of us from ever reading, writing, or even communicating in a civil and comprehensible manner, and we’re the […]
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September 13, 2004
Tommy Two-Tone premium
A modern day dilemma. My mobile phone company is currently offering both Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie and Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice as ring tone possibilities. The separate ring tones, when broken down to their base elements (sans vocals,) are almost virtually identical to one another. Unfortunately, each speaks volumes to […]
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September 8, 2004
I Knew You’d Want a Hot Apple Pie With That premium
A company in Pittsburgh is developing a technology that will predict what you’re going to order at fast food restaraunts before you even pull up to the drive-thrus. A 28 year-old McDonald’s manager who saw a simulation of the technology called it, “the most impressive thing” he’s ever seen. Relegated to second most impressive thing: […]
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August 6, 2004
And then, I Bludgeoned Him With My Chair….. premium
I had a meeting yesterday during which a participant, in the midst of a long-winded schpiel, kept referring to e-mail as “electronic e-mail.” I can forgive a single transgression, a slip of the tongue if you will, but this marketing guy kept repeating over and over again, “electronic e-mail is super!” “WHAT DO YOU THINK […]
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August 4, 2004
Does My Addiction to Dharma & Greg Reruns Qualify? premium
I’ve built up a certain amount of respect for the Finnish Army over the years. They deserve kudos for the Winter War and standing up to Stalin during WWII. But now, all that respect that was hard earned by rugged men in the 1940’s…is instantly gone. “A number of Finnish conscripts have been excused their […]
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July 21, 2004
Sucks to be a Sophomore premium
As if we all needed another reason to hate Duke. All incoming freshman at Duke University will receive an iPod “to encourage creative uses of technology in their class work.” All I got as a freshman was a crappy Daytimer organizer with the month of February missing.
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June 25, 2004
Alt, Ctrl, Del premium
Please take a moment to recognize the passing of computer pioneer Bob Bemer. In addition to helping create the ASCII coding system, Bob contributed to the development of the technology that led to the creation of the ‘escape’ key on modern keyboards. In honor of Bob and his legacy, I will attempt to solve all […]
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June 22, 2004
Forward this Entry to 100 of Your Friends… premium
——————————————– From: “Evans, Brian” {winxplover@ranzino.com} Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 22:09:08 To:”Gates, Bill” {bill.gates@microsoft.com} Subject: Email Issues Hey Bill, I know we haven’t talked much lately. I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch more. You know how life can be, one proverbial ‘blue screen of death’ after another. Plus, with you being on MSN Messenger […]
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