Sports

November 19, 2008
Other Things Donovan McNabb Doesn’t Know premium
After a particularly uninspired gridiron matchup between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Philadelphia Eagles ended in 13-13 tie, Donovan McNabb, the 10-year veteran quarterback of the Eagles, revealed he didn’t know an NFL game could end in a stalemate. So as to avoid awkward conversations if you were to meet Mr. McNabb in a social […]
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October 29, 2008
WORLD CHAMPIONS… OF THE WORLD! premium
Philadelphia fans rejoice. Nearly three decades of pain has been eased this night. Thank you Phightin’ Phils!
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September 30, 2007
Da Phils Win! premium
Da Phillies!, originally uploaded by ranzino. Your hometown Philadelphia Phillies, the 2007 NL East Champions! As a parent, the occasion of the Phillies taking advantage of the New York Mets’ historic collapse to emerge victorious in their regular season division race is a great opportunity. I can demonstrate to my sons that sportsmanship and compassion […]
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April 5, 2007
Okay… 160 to Go premium
The silver lining here, at this point, is they’re only two games behind the division leaders.
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April 2, 2007
Relax, There’s Still 161 Left to Go premium
Opening Day in Major League Baseball isn’t even over yet and those Phightin’ Phillies are already in last place in the National League East. On the plus side, it was 75 degrees and sunny today for those who attended the first home game of the season at Citizen’s Bank Park in the city of brotherly […]
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March 20, 2007
JUST a bit outside premium
If you’re feeling down in the dumps and your confidence is hitting a low ebb, just relish this nugget.  You too can have your own stalker. Hey, if former Mr. Belvedere thespian Bob Uecker can have one, why not you?  Why not you? Nothing boosts saggy self-esteem quicker than visits to your doorstop at 2 […]
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March 15, 2007
Pete Rose – Memorabilia Salesman premium
After finally admitting he bet on baseball in his 2004 biography, Pete Rose has now further clarified that he also bet on the Cincinnati Reds while he was the team’s manager. He assures us, he only bet on the Big Red Machine to win, never to lose. Does anyone even care anymore? Why are we […]
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March 8, 2006
At Least We’ve Got the Best Mascot premium
Today is Opening Day 2006 for Major League Baseball. Opening Day is nirvana for hardball afficianados across the nation, or as we Philadelphia Phillies fans like to call it: “The day we’re technically furthest away from being mathematically eliminated from the playoffs!” Hooray! Let’s Go Fightin’ Phils!
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February 16, 2006
Snow Days premium
The Winter Olympics are here and apparently, Americans would rather watch Paula Abdul attempt to cry for Dr. Phil through her Botox-sealed tear ducts. I can’t say that I blame them. I’ve always had a term for individuals who feel ‘the need for speed’ on ice and snow: The Mentally Disabled. Plus, who doesn’t like […]
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February 6, 2006
20 Notes from the Super Bowl premium
Just a few notes concerning the pinnacle sporting event on the American landscape. Aaron Neville sings the national anthem and is large enough himself to amazingly resist Aretha Franklin’s natural gravitational pull. I don’t know about you, but for me, nothing kicks off 3 hours of testosterone-fueled gridiron action better than washed-up action star Harrison […]
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