October 15, 2022
Discount Grocery Item of the Day – DiaResQ premium
When you're shopping in the store, and your butt begins to roar. That's diarrhea.
October 14, 2022
Convenience Store Interrogatives premium
Because Diabetes. The answer to the question you are posing is, “Because diabetes.”
October 17, 2021
Discount Grocery Item of the Day – Original Scungilli premium
The answer to the question, "What do you think would be in a chafing dish on Fridays in hell's cafeteria?"
September 30, 2021
Discount Grocery Item of the Day – Umcka Coldcare & Petadolex premium
Where you should buy your healthcare products when the swap meet isn't meeting all of your clinical needs.
September 28, 2021
A Dispatch to My Wife Justifying the Purchase and Display of My New Truck Nutz premium
It is with great respect and the utmost humility that I stand before you in defense of this most innocent of all motor vehicle novelty items.
July 22, 2021
Discount Grocery Item of the Day – Glacs premium
Need another reminder about global warming? Why not have it stare right back at you from your cereal bowl?
September 13, 2020
Absorbency to the Max premium
Suggested taglines for Kirkland Signature’s toilet paper with new wider sheets: 5. Go on, have that second burrito 4. Rainforests schmainforests! 3. Hiding your silent bathroom crying has never been easier! 2. America 2020 Collector’s Edition1. I mean c’mon… just look at yourself
All the Chat That’s Fit to Moderately Disagree premium
“Uhhhh…. I think I’ll select option C?”
January 30, 2020
Optimism Renewed premium
Middle East peace, sneezing with your eyes open, the return of the VHS tape as a viable media format. Literally anything is possible. Someone has financed and produced a stage production of the Golden Girls featuring only puppets. Never, ever, let your dreams die.
You are a sign maker premium
You nailed “surveillance” but just couldn’t stick the landing.