Current Events

My Camera’s Voice DEMANDS To Be Heard! premium
These are the people that are tasked with handling my ballot correctly.   Sigh. <Generic Public Service Announcement> Get out and vote! </Generic Public Service Announcement>
This Year Can I Text In My Ballot? premium
Remember young Americans, your vote counts… even if having the ability to spell possessive pronouns no longer does.
Dumbest… Technology… Ever. premium
A 16-year-old boy broke the Guinness World Record for speed text messaging this past Sunday. Ang Chuang Yang of Singapore was definitely “in the zone” when he typed an 160 character message in only 41.52 seconds. The standard phrase used as the sample text in all text-messaging contests apparently is: The razor-toothed piranhas of the […]
November 8, 2006
Feeling Like an Ass? premium
As David Wooderson would say, “All right, all right, all right!” So there was a sweeping victory for the Democrats in the U.S. House of Representatives last night. Those kooky donkeys might even pull out a squeaker in the Senate before it’s all said and done. That is, of course, if Katherine Harris doesn’t somehow […]
November 1, 2006
We’re stickin’ with Joe… I guess premium
Even though voters in Connecticut overwhelmingly narrowly told Joe Lieberman to take a hike during the Democratic primaries, it looks like good ol’ “charismatic as a two-week-old loaf of multi-grain bread” Joe is going to be sticking around these parts after all. With a ten point deficit in the polls with only a week to […]
April 5, 2006
Fun with Euphemisms premium
I didn’t get the memo on when the term “suspect” evolved into “person of interest” in regards to a police investigation. Has our society become too politically correct (or legally hamstrung) that we can’t even imply someone is suspect? If that’s the case, do you remember the last time you read a news story that […]
February 15, 2006
You Mean They All Don’t End at O.J.’s House? premium
Police in the car chase capital of the world, Los Angeles, are implementing a new hi-tech tool to help curb the amount of deadly high speed pursuits.  Squad cars will now be equipped with ‘sticky darts’ containing GPS tracking signals that can be shot at suspect vehicles, allowing law enforcement officers to back off and […]
February 9, 2006
Full Disclosure premium
The debate over personal privacy is raging in our nation. Whether it’s about the legality of NSA wiretaps, the creation of a secret government database chronicling every U.S. citizen’s actions, or talk of whether it’s any of our business if Britney drove off in her Mercedes with K-Fed’s progeny restrained only by her well-toned thighs… […]
February 3, 2006
My Dog Ate My State of the Union Address premium
During the investigation into the CIA leak case against Dick Cheney’s former chief of staff, Lewis “Scooter” Libby, federal prosecutors have revealed that some of the President and Vice President’s email from the very same time period they happen to be investigating may have gone up and missing. In a letter to Libby’s defense team, […]
February 2, 2006
This just in… premium
according to a Michigan environmental group, new car smell is toxic.  And coming up after the break, the Center for Disease Control is now reporting that hugging small puppies is now the leading cause of deadly genital warts.