In a recent column recapping baseball’s All-Star Weekend, Bill Simmons, AKA The Sports Guy, commented on the need to get rid of the corporate kiddies ineffectively shagging dinger-wannabes in the outfield during the home run derby:

“One highlight in Round 1: My realization that they need to dump the little kids in the outfield and replace them with terrified models and actresses. Imagine Gisele Bundschen screaming in horror as a David Ortiz moonshot comes dropping down on her like a grenade?”

I would take that idea one step further.  Have self-righteous celebrities populate the outfield, and for every ball they snare, a thousand bucks will be donated to their favorite pretentious charity. Wouldn’t it be tremendously entertaining to see Pamela Anderson body-check Whoopi Goldberg thereby ensuring one grand would go to the coffers of PETA instead of the Democratic National Committee?  I could just picture the fist fight erupting between Leonardo DiCaprio (The Natural Resources Defense Council) and Rosie O’Donnell  (Pick one) over a mis-played ball in left-center.

This adjustment might even make the Home Run derby watchable next year.