Marketing
Metro-Funk
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Old Spice released its annual list of the 100 Sweatiest Summertime Cities today. As it turns out, every place I’ve ever lived in, or around, is represented on the list. #50 Philadelphia, PA #52 Harrisburg, PA #81 Hartford, CT (I can’t wait for July!) #84 Wilkes Barre/Scranton, PA #86 Syracuse, NY All this time, I […]
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June 14, 2004
Wrinkle-Free Checking
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Recently, my cozy little hometown bank merged with another cozy little hometown bank and a huge man-eating metro bank. I’m not an alarmist… at least that’s what my support group tells me. I’m willing to give the newly-dubbed New Alliance Bank a fighting chance to retain my business. The new name gave me some hope. […]
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May 21, 2004
Gatorade is helping ESPN celebrate its 25th anniversary this summer by releasing an ESPN-flavored beverage. This inevitably begs the question, what exactly does the Worldwide Leader in Sports taste like? Quoting further from the highly-orchestrated press release, overrated Bronx Bomber Derek Jeter described the flavor as tasting like, “four World Series championships, with a dash […]
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March 16, 2004
Oprah’s McNugget Club
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Many years back, Oprah, trying to distance herself from the talk-show pack, re-invented herself and her show in the mold of a new-age self-help touchy feely-fest. Not only did this inflict the likes of John ‘I left my purse at the manicurists’ Gray on an unassuming public, it also introduced America to the equally grating, […]
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March 8, 2004
My infant son recently received a LeapFrog LeapStart Learning Tableâ„¢ from his grandparents. This was not surprising. Grandparents’ desire to please their grandchildren usually manifests itself in the purchase of toys generally louder and more garish than a Christina Aguilera makeup application. While I went about opening the box, I noticed the table was pre-assembled […]
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