Parenting & Suburbia

August 5, 2008
Top 5 Middle-Aged White Guys You See at the Beach premium
Undulate, originally uploaded by ranzino. 5. Way Too Tan Guy – You have to wonder if this guy is holding down a full-time job to register the amount of face-time with the sun needed to achieve a tan that would make George Hamilton remark, “That’s a bit much, don’t you think?” 4. Way Too Many […]
August 4, 2008
Top 5 Parent Fears at the Seashore premium
Discovery, originally uploaded by ranzino. 5. The inability to buy SPF “Lead Waterproof Vest.” 4. Standing too close to a lifeguard thereby enabling the wife to make a side by side comparison. 3. The murky depths of a grandparent’s wallet. 2. Unlimited access to readily available fudge. 1. The mystery salt water-tainted contents of the […]
July 30, 2008
Shoes, Photography and Health Care premium
Pictured to the right are portions of two photographs of the same pair of shoes taken nearly five years apart. The photo on the left won a small online photo contest when I was a wet behind the ears beginner to photography. The following is the post I wrote on the contest’s Web site in […]
June 4, 2008
The Berenstain Bears and the Online Predator premium
Among all the book series my son likes to have read to him, he tends to gravitate time and time again to the Berenstain Bears. For those of you unfamiliar with the stories, they catalog the lives of the Bear Family who inhabit a tree house down a sunny dirt lane deep in bear country, […]
May 22, 2008
A Parent’s Primer for Children’s Board Games: Candy Land premium
Basic Game PlayIn a turn-based game, players draw colored cards to determine how many spaces their Gingerbread men will move along the path to “Home Sweet Home”, along the way avoiding obstacles named for confections that were popular no less than 50 years ago. Why Your Kids Love It“Hey, I know colors! I know how […]
Happy 2nd premium
Pickin’ Dandelions, originally uploaded by ranzino. Happy birthday buddy. Two years can go by so quickly. Love, Your Dad
April 28, 2008
Just Peanuts, Nothing Else premium
Just Peanuts, Nothing Else, originally uploaded by ranzino. “What came with these?” “What?” “The peanuts.” “Oh those!” “Yes, the ones that are all over the floor.” “Nothing, it’s just a box peanuts.” “You ordered and received by shipment from UPS a box of just shipping peanuts?” “Yes… But coincidentally… they also came with a battery […]
SOYLENT PINK IS PEOPLE!, originally uploaded by ranzino. I’m willing to accept many things about the anthropomorphic animal residents of Richard Scarry’s Busytown at face value. For instance, I can overlook the fact that the only townsperson to wear a shoe is also the only one to not have any feet on to which he […]
SpongeBob, Behind the Green Door… at the Krusty Krab premium
The following is the best dinner-time discussion my son and I have had in weeks. Me: So what did you do at Gramma’s house yesterday? Son: Pop Pop and I watched SpongeBob SquirtPants. Me: (Choking back some grilled tilapia) I think you mean SpongeBob SquarePants. Son: (In complete righteous indignation mode) NO! The song says […]
March 27, 2008
It Was a Quack Job premium
It Was a Quack Job, originally uploaded by ranzino. Parenting Tip #3 A toy is NEVER out of batteries. It is always ALWAYS broken… as far as they know. All parents know that getting a split second of peace and quiet is harder than trying to explain the appeal of The Hills to anyone over […]