Parenting & Suburbia

March 26, 2008
Such a Good Dad premium
As a male, I know I get certain historical advantages over the fairer sex by default. Dressing business casual couldn’t be easier, opening jar lids never seems to be an issue and, as anyone who’s ever been to the State Fair can attest, the ability to pee while standing cannot be underestimated. Compassionate parenting, however […]
What?! premium
What?!, originally uploaded by ranzino. Easter [ee | ster ] – noun Christian celebration of the Resurrection of Christ; celebrated on the Sunday following the first full moon after the vernal equinox. To the day, the date candy companies have collectively calculated to be the precise moment of the final portioning out of the last […]
March 19, 2008
Mr. Evans, Your Back Acne Medication is Ready premium
Another thing you wouldn’t want publicly announced while waiting for your prescription at CVS… “Dad, Jacob just pulled his pants down and is running down the magazine aisle.” Which leads us to: Parenting Tip #2 No matter how quick you think an errand is going to be, ALWAYS (as in the “remembering to take your […]
March 18, 2008
Parenting Tip #1 premium
Because I’ve spent a lot of my time child-rearing and what-not these days, I thought from time to time I would pass along to you, lucky reader, some of the hard-earned wisdom I’ve gleaned since having my wonderful, wonderful children. Through these tips, I hope you too will be able to avoid incarceration, insanity and […]
March 14, 2008
Dear Pushy Mom… premium
Dear Mom Who Runs Into the Pre-School Ahead of Everyone Else the Millisecond After They Open the Doors, Listen, it’s not like I’ve got a packed schedule or anything today, we’re all busy right? Tell me though, is your desire to be first in line to pick up your child EVERY FREAKIN’ SINGLE DAY important […]
November 19, 2007
Friggin’ Chutes premium
Friggin’ Chutes, originally uploaded by ranzino. Most… tedious… children’s…. game…. EVER. I have no idea what she’s smiling about.
September 30, 2007
Da Phils Win! premium
Da Phillies!, originally uploaded by ranzino. Your hometown Philadelphia Phillies, the 2007 NL East Champions! As a parent, the occasion of the Phillies taking advantage of the New York Mets’ historic collapse to emerge victorious in their regular season division race is a great opportunity. I can demonstrate to my sons that sportsmanship and compassion […]
September 28, 2007
Winner Winner premium
The Bloomsburg Fair in Bloomsburg, PA – originally uploaded by ranzino. Something a comedian once said has always stuck with me. I’m somewhat embarrassed to say this long lasting nugget of wisdom I’ve stored most likely sprouted from the lips of one mustachioed Jeff Foxworthy. And I’m paraphrasing here: If you want to feel better […]
September 24, 2007
Wearing Your State Pride premium
Having had a Netflix account for almost as long as the service has existed, I haven’t found much reason to go into a Blockbuster in almost a decade. There are times, however, when the occasion does warrant a visit to the brick and mortar cinema shill for one reason or another. Because I am not […]
September 23, 2007
Candy Corn premium
Candy Corn, originally uploaded by ranzino. With Halloween coming up next month, you may soon be venturing out to your local mega-duper-costco-plex to buy a skiff or two of trick-or-treat giveaways. In our increasingly health conscious and pc environment, I thought I would take a minute to remind you that Halloween is supposed to be […]