Author: ranzino
Many people have tried to accurately capture the essence that is Brian, but this much is known to be true: he has dutifully paid the hosting bill for Ranzino.com since 2001.
That Kooky Kodak Theater
Here are my Annual Oscar Ceremony Predictions for 2004: You will once again be confronted with…
Fried Peanut Butter & Banana Sandwiches
Why are we, as Americans, obsessed with dead celebrities? It’s bad enough we fawn over the…
Top 5 Things The Creepy Guy Behind You In Line at the Grocery Store is Thinking
5. “Slim Fast…Yeah, good luck with that porky.”4. “Funyuns.”3. “Oooh, Bubblelicious!”2. “God dammit, I can clearly…
Keebler Roulette
Is there a worse holiday season phenomenon than the anxiety caused by trying to select the…
The Drive-Thru Window to My Soul
Dear Route 44 Dunkin’ Donuts, Hey…how’ve you been? I’ve been doing okay, I guess. You may…
Top 5 Things I Never Want to Hear on Television…Never…Ever…Again…Forever
5. The phrase ‘Nascar Dads’4. Dialouge spoken by Freddie Prinze Jr.3. What Oprah’s favorite things are2….
We Have a Chia Spill in Aisle 8
I wouldn’t describe myself as an impulse shopper. I’m not usually tempted by the newest and…
From the makers of Wonderbread comes…
…Ryan Seacrest, really, I mean what’s the big deal. I admit, I’m not a regular viewer…
The Cupholder Killer
Like most Americans, I subscribe to the motto “Bigger is Better.” Do you want to drive…
Ashton, Ashton, We All Fall Down!
I was at a Blockbuster Video for the first time in ages yesterday. You see, having…