Sports

July 16, 2004
It’s Outta Here! premium
In a recent column recapping baseball’s All-Star Weekend, Bill Simmons, AKA The Sports Guy, commented on the need to get rid of the corporate kiddies ineffectively shagging dinger-wannabes in the outfield during the home run derby: “One highlight in Round 1: My realization that they need to dump the little kids in the outfield and […]
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June 29, 2004
Stick to the Sports Reporting Fellas premium
As part of it’s 25th anniversary, ESPN is releasing a ‘Top 25 of the Past 25 Years’ list of something sports-related every week. Top 25 Hockey moments, Top 25 Olympic Stars, Top 25 Groin Injuries, you name it, they’re listing it. This week they announced their Top 25 Sports Movies of the Past 25 Years, […]
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June 1, 2004
Obscurity in Straight Sets premium
Here’s a little quiz for you: The French Open is… a. …the newest taste sensation from Wendy’s! A grilled chicken breast served open-faced, cordon bleu-style, on grilled focaccia bread! b. …the nickname German’s had for the Maginot Line during WWII. c. …a new kind of kiss invented by Christina Aguilera. d. …a major tennis tournament. […]
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May 25, 2004
4-Hour Work Day premium
Let’s forget for a moment that NFL players, on average, make more than 1 million dollars a season. Just for a second, let’s forget these gridiron gladiators get to play a game that they love for a living. It’s a fact that it’s about a million times more likely that the punter from the Cincinatti […]
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April 14, 2004
Dances with Roundball premium
Our fair nutmeg state has one top-tier professional sport to speak of. The Connecticut Sun of the Women’s National Basketball League. I know what you’re thinking, “The Sun? Isn’t Connecticut shrouded in New England cloud cover for 90 percent of the year?” Well yes, but the team’s name is not derived from an inaccurate description […]
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March 29, 2004
The March to San Antonio (Not Affiliated with the Mexican-American War) premium
Top 5 Signs You Have a Case of the March Madness 5. The sound of Billy Packer’s voice is causing you to have seizures. 4. Your co-workers find you curled up in the fetal position under your desk muttering, “Friggin’ UAB.” 3. Your Spouse objects to you wearing face-paint and a fright wig to Aunt […]
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March 12, 2004
Roid Rage on the Hill premium
Apparently, the daunting tasks of reducing the deficit, creating new jobs for Americans, and keeping our nation safe are not sufficient to keep our highly paid elected officials busy. Federal politicians are taking brave steps toward striking down one of the most terrifying crises to ever shake our nation: the saucing-up of professional baseball players. […]
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