Here’s a new rule. If you haven’t had an acrimonious split with your spouse/manager or been through drug rehab at least once, you are not ready for a biopic on VH1’s Behind the Music. It’s just that simple.

I know there are a finite amount of aging rockers to profile, but dipping into the younger pop set is a bit much. I think I saw the lengthy career of one Britney Spears being recapped BTM style yesterday. Honestly, what was the patented ‘turn for the worse’ commercial break teaser like:

“Things were going well for Britney until she had the choice of a lifetime. Should she endorse Coke or Pepsi….next on Behind the Music.”

They’re can’t be a dearth of willing participants. Having a Behind the Music profile is more of a career validation than a Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame induction (The Bee Gees are card-carrying members, PLEASE!)

So let’s try on Foghat, give me a scoop of the Lovin’ Spoonful and save ‘Tattoos and Free Weights: The 50 Cent Story’ for the year 2024.