1. The first 4 pages of your photostream consist entirely of pictures of your wiener dog dressed in outfits you have personally crocheted.
  2. You’re hosting an historical archive of starlet nipple slip screenshots from the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
  3. LOLCATS. Nothing but wall-to-wall LOLCATS.
  4. No, I’m not interested in trading, as you put it, “tasteful” pictures of our wives.
  5. You just found out photoshop has FILTERS!