Ranzino.com (the blog incarnation) officially turned one year old this February. This web site has many of the same fine qualities of its human infant contemporaries; a loose, and some would describe endearing, grasp on the English language, increasing playfulness, and unexpected and violent fluid releases.
I decided to mark this staggering achievement in internet punditry with a unique post whose witty content would only be surpassed by its insight and wisdom. Soon after this decision, I realized my Netflix queue wasn’t going to watch itself, and that this grandiose post probably wasn’t going to happen. So I decided upon a course of action any seasoned media producer would embark upon when presented with the same situation and a lack of originality. I’m offering up re-heated leftovers in a shiny new package and calling it a greatest hits compilation. Hey if you didn’t read it before, it’s “new to you.”
So without further ado, I present to you….
Ranzino.com’s 10 Favorite Posts of this Past Year
(As voted by subscribers of Reader’s Digest and the cast of VH1’s Surreal Life 4)
Honorable Mention Posts (Because the 15 Favorite Posts of this Past Year just sounds dumb)
- Forward this Entry to 100 of Your Friends…
- For That Deep Down Nielsens Thirst
- The Debate Team
- Help Feed Martha
- Can She Bake a Cherry Pie, Billy Boy, Billy Boy?
…now on to the countdown:
10. The Cupholder Killer – One of the first posts I marginally liked, and plus it has a nifty picture.
9. 4 Hour Work Day – My life vs. the life of an NFL football player.
8. Summer Movie Preview 2004! – Almost completely inaccurate to the best of my ability.
7. Roid Rage on the Hill – Particularly timely these days, plus it throws all of North America’s major sports under the bus. Oh, and it makes fun of hockey too.
6. Anger Management – 20% funnier than the movie of the same name (with 100% less exposure to a cross-dressing Woody Harrelson)
5. Find an Alien and We’ll Throw in Some Hush Puppies – My favorite one-line throwaway joke of the year.
4. I Knew You’d Want a Hot Apple Pie With That – Because any time you can mention Professional Wrestler Ric Flair, you know it’s a good post.
3. A Conversational Email Filter for Microsoft Outlook – Your guide to my Inbox.
2. Backhanded Condiments – Partisan politics rock the world of ketchup-lovers everywhere.
1. Drive Thru Window to My Soul – A chronicle of my forbidden love with a fast food chain.
So there you have it boys and girls. Stay tuned next year as we talk about the ups and downs of fatherhood, the phase behavior of hydrocarbon polymer blends, and Steve Urkel.