Pop Culture

SpongeBob, Behind the Green Door… at the Krusty Krab premium
The following is the best dinner-time discussion my son and I have had in weeks. Me: So what did you do at Gramma’s house yesterday? Son: Pop Pop and I watched SpongeBob SquirtPants. Me: (Choking back some grilled tilapia) I think you mean SpongeBob SquarePants. Son: (In complete righteous indignation mode) NO! The song says […]
August 15, 2007
A Musical Interlude premium
A quick example of a song that goes from about a 2 star rating all the way up to a 5 when the volume is adjusted to the correct amplitude: Boston’s clap-a-long fest – More Than a Feeling. Next up on iTunes, a song that pretty much sucks no matter what volume it’s played at: […]
February 27, 2006
Trend-Stopping premium
I’m immediately calling for a national cease-and-desist on the use of the term “Brokeback” in the following ways: Adjective “Why is Fred Phelps watching the Brokeback Network?**” Direct Object “I heard Tina is going Brokeback on us.” Gerund “Is it true that Tom Cruise was Brokebacking before he turned to Scientology?” ** Bravo
February 7, 2006
Roll Out the Barrel premium
The 48th Annual Grammy Awards airs tonight on CBS. Yeah, I don’t care either. If you continue to insist on not watching Veronica Mars instead (as most of you stubbornly continue to do) keep your eye out for the winner of one of the most important categories in the Grammy-verse: Best Polka Album. Can Jimmy […]
January 25, 2006
Someone Call Vincent Gambini premium
I guarantee is stems from all the pent up aggression resulting from the severe beatings he received at the hands of innocent little Kevin McAllister. Pesci Accused of Punching Student
January 24, 2006
Even Better Than Baywatch Knights premium
The Internet. A breakthrough in technology that allows educators, businesses, and everyday people of the world equal access to communicate and collaborate in ways never even dreamed possible! Or, if you prefer, a vessel for providing you the opportunity to wax David Hasselhoff’s chest hair.
June 29, 2005
Sorry, No Meds For You premium
So, because its all the rage these days is to peg all-American cult member Tom Cruise as “bat-shit insane” (a highly technical term) here’s how news editors stretch to frame stories to support this eyeball-catching theory. This is not to say I don’t think good ol’ Maverick is a little off his rocker these days. […]
May 17, 2005
For Only 99 Cents Per Download You Can Feed a Hungry Child premium
For all you file swappers out there, just remember every time you illegally download “We Are The World,” it’s like snatching a piece of crusty old bread out of an emaciated Ehtiopian child’s hand. And don’t even get me started on Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas.” Sally Struthers is very, very, dissapointed in […]
March 14, 2005
A Hootie with Extra Cheese Hold the Mayo premium
A cautionary tale for all the budding pop and rock stars of the new millennium. Sure, today your album may have just reached 16 time platinum status. Your record may even rank as one of the best debut albums of all-time. Your popularity at this time may be so great, major sports stars may be […]
February 15, 2005
Happy Birthday to…This premium
Ranzino.com (the blog incarnation) officially turned one year old this February. This web site has many of the same fine qualities of its human infant contemporaries; a loose, and some would describe endearing, grasp on the English language, increasing playfulness, and unexpected and violent fluid releases. I decided to mark this staggering achievement in internet […]