Ranzino.com | Where the rustproofing is always complimentary

Technology

April 18, 2010

10 Rumored Features of the New iPhone 4G premium

In light of Gizmodo’s recent acquisition of a top-secret pre-production version of the iPhone 4G, speculation has begun on exactly what new features this life-altering device may offer. Luckily, Ranzino.com has been able to confirm just a few of the many mind-blowing enhancements Apple has in store for us. Can shoot arcing bolts of […]

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Technology

January 26, 2009

The Myth of Wii premium

The Non-Political Plumber, originally uploaded by ranzino. Here’s how fanboys of the Nintendo Wii will defend their beloved gaming console to those who are less than enamored with the lifestyle that often accompanies video gaming: But it’s not like other systems! It gets you up and moving around! It’s an ACTIVE experience! I’ve got a […]

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Pop Culture

January 9, 2009

Pocket Full of Kryptonite premium

When I was a freshman in college I specifically remembering going to see a Spin Doctors cover group perform at a local house party. What I don’t remember (for a variety of reasons) is exactly what that jam band played after they covered both “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” and “Two Princes.” It didn’t seem […]

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Parenting & Suburbia

December 29, 2008

Damn you George Lucas premium

You know your 5- year- old is probably watching too much Star Wars when your 2-year-old is humming John Williams’ Imperial March at the dinner table.

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Oddness, Pop Culture

December 11, 2008

Right Downturn Clyde premium

When we face the darkest of economic times, it takes a special breed of entertainer to lift our spirits as a nation. Entertainers who can set aside their own personal fears to help the masses forget theirs. Entertainers who can break down long-standing taboos thereby changing the direction of an entire industry. Entertainers who can […]

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Parenting & Suburbia

December 5, 2008

We’re Bringing SchlumpyBack premium

It’s a good sign that you probably need to do the laundry when your daycare provider remarks that the sweatpant ensemble you hastily put together for your 2-year-old that morning favors comparably to the fashion stylings of a rejected backup dancer from Justin Timberlake’s FutureSex/LoveSounds tour.

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Sports

November 19, 2008

Other Things Donovan McNabb Doesn’t Know premium

After a particularly uninspired gridiron matchup between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Philadelphia Eagles ended in 13-13 tie, Donovan McNabb, the 10-year veteran quarterback of the Eagles, revealed he didn’t know an NFL game could end in a stalemate. So as to avoid awkward conversations if you were to meet Mr. McNabb in a social […]

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Adventures in Spelling and Grammar, Current Events

November 4, 2008

My Camera’s Voice DEMANDS To Be Heard! premium

These are the people that are tasked with handling my ballot correctly. Sigh. <Generic Public Service Announcement> Get out and vote! </Generic Public Service Announcement>

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Parenting & Suburbia

October 30, 2008

Happy Halloween premium

Here are the list of kids whose costumes mandate that I not give them candy tomorrow night: Small children in red skirt-suits dressed as Sarah Palin. You know their parents put them up to it even though they begged to dress up as that girl from High School Musical. If I withold your candy, perhaps […]

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Sports

October 29, 2008

WORLD CHAMPIONS… OF THE WORLD! premium

Philadelphia fans rejoice. Nearly three decades of pain has been eased this night. Thank you Phightin’ Phils!

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