The Durkee-Mower company, makers of the magically delicious foodstuff Marshmallow Fluff, are suing Williams Sonoma for selling a candy product using the name Fluffernutter, of which Durkee claims to own the rights.

Who knew one of our childhood lunchbox staples was an actionable copyright?

Out of fear of facing similiar suits from other large corporations, smaller food purveyors are acting quickly to rename their products as to not invite costly litigation.

  • To placate Kraft Foods, other companies selling Macaroni & Cheese will now call their product: Edible Carbohydrate Elbows with Liquified Curdled Milk.
  • Any knock-offs of Ore-Ida’s Tater Tots will now be called: Fried Starchy Tuber Droplets.
  • Jiff, Skippy, and Peter Pan will object to any term other than: George Washington Carver’s Happy-Fun-Time Silly Spread.
  • Finally, Heinz is requesting any Ketchup be called: Tomato-Based Right Wing Conspiracy Condiment.