ranzino
December 5, 2008
We’re Bringing SchlumpyBack
premium
It’s a good sign that you probably need to do the laundry when your daycare provider remarks that the sweatpant ensemble you hastily put together for your 2-year-old that morning favors comparably to the fashion stylings of a rejected backup dancer from Justin Timberlake’s FutureSex/LoveSounds tour.
premium
November 19, 2008
After a particularly uninspired gridiron matchup between the Cincinnati Bengals and the Philadelphia Eagles ended in 13-13 tie, Donovan McNabb, the 10-year veteran quarterback of the Eagles, revealed he didn’t know an NFL game could end in a stalemate. So as to avoid awkward conversations if you were to meet Mr. McNabb in a social […]
premium
November 4, 2008
These are the people that are tasked with handling my ballot correctly. Sigh. <Generic Public Service Announcement> Get out and vote! </Generic Public Service Announcement>
premium
October 30, 2008
Happy Halloween
premium
Here are the list of kids whose costumes mandate that I not give them candy tomorrow night: Small children in red skirt-suits dressed as Sarah Palin. You know their parents put them up to it even though they begged to dress up as that girl from High School Musical. If I withold your candy, perhaps […]
premium
October 29, 2008
WORLD CHAMPIONS… OF THE WORLD!
premium
Philadelphia fans rejoice. Nearly three decades of pain has been eased this night. Thank you Phightin’ Phils!
premium
October 28, 2008
This weekend my wife and I went out on the town with some good friends. Being stalwart Pennsylvanians, we felt honor-bound by stately sporting obligations to find someplace after dinner to watch the Penn State/Ohio State football game. We ended up finding a “sports bar” outside of the city. I use the term “sports bar” […]
premium
October 27, 2008
Halloween Week on Ranzino.com
premium
It’s Halloween season here on Ranzino.com and we’ll be celebrating this manufactured non-holiday by posting some extra-spooky content here every day this week. Yes that’s right, you heard it here first. Daily content. Prepare for the reckoning. What better way to kick things off than having some random French guy sing in a capella 64 […]
premium
October 24, 2008
Sculptures To Be, originally uploaded by ranzino. So what’s the over-under on the life expectancy of any balloon animal made for children ages 5 and under? 10 minutes? 8?
premium
October 10, 2008
Life Got You Down?
premium
In these uncertain times of financial and political turmoil, it may be time for Americans to finally heed the call of sacrifice and once again give back to this nation that has given us so much. Much like our grandparents did during the days of the last great rift in economic and international relations, it’s […]
premium